Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
