The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
