so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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