But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
