I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
