i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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