I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
