I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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