Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
