my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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