well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
