At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize