saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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