I am in a vortex of obligation.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize