We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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