Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
