i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
