i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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