i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
