i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize