there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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