I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've blown a few things in my day
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
