Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The air was thick with penises
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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