its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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