absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize