so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
