Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
