ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
