do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
