I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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