I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize