i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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