All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
