My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
