Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
