I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
