Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Vodka?
Forever.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
