Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
