This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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