if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
