Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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