Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
