i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize