I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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