just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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