im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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