Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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