I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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