She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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