And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
And then he peed in my hair
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