Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
