that's an acceptable place to lick
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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