let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
