This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
