Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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