people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
