He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
