Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
