hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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