I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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