I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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