It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This is the high leading the old right now
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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