I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize