we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize