I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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