I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm at about main and main street
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
