things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
