A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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