All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Randomize
