I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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